At any point in our careers we can reach a point where imposter syndrome hits us hard. Whether it be stuck in the middle of a critical issue with no clue of where to start or even early on when we're still figuring out the path we want to take in life. If anyone tells you they've never experienced imposter syndrome at some point, they're full of it.
It can be different for everyone, but for myself, anxiety and self-doubt is something I struggled with going back to my years in grade school. I would sit at my desk, trying my hardest to focus on what new topic my teacher was showing us and just couldn't grasp the concepts to fully understand what they we're saying. It led me down years of doubting if I am even smart enough to be sitting amongst my peers. Sure I had certain subjects that I excelled at, but the ones that challenged me made me question if I was ever going to graduate high school; let alone make it to college.
Thankfully I did graduate, but by the time I finished school, I walked out with no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I had always spent my free time in front of the computer and enjoyed making websites and dabbled in programming, but there was always that voice in my head saying "you'll never be smart enough to do this for a living". Sadly, I listened to this voice for far too long. I let it stay with me into my early twenties and just kind of floated from job to job unsure of what could be my true north.
Eventually, while stuck in yet another soulless part-time job, I reached my breaking point. I new I had to do something different and decided it was now or never. I went to my local career office and spoke to someone asking about IT companies that would hire someone at the entry level and what they required. I had some simple IT experience, but nothing official that would say "IT Expert".
After our conversation, they recommended a recruiting office and got me in contact with someone that was hiring for a contract position. It was only for a few months, but it was enough to get me in the door. So I interviewed and some how I was hired shortly after that same day. The work itself was simple, but my manager showed me how he runs his infrastructure and would teach me new things each day. I always made sure I was learning something new to show that I could take on an IT role in the future.
As the contract was coming to an end, my manager sat me down and said he really enjoys working with me and would love to hire me in a permanent position, but unfortunately the company wasn't going to budget for it. However, he had a connection at another company and said he would refer me for an interview. Sure enough, I got the interview and was hired a few days later, simply because my manager had vouched for me.
This job led me to the 10+ year career that I've now reached and gave me the confidence to get my bachelors degree in cybersecurity in 2024. This happened because someone believed in me more than I believed in myself and I can't thank him enough for making it happen.
Sometimes I look back and wonder what my career would be like if I just ignored that voice in my head, and where I would be right now. However, I find it's best not to dwell on the past and look forward onto the future and all the possibilities it can bring. Instead, I share this as a reminder that no matter how little you might think of yourself, you never know what you can accomplish if you push through all the negativity and give yourself a chance to live the life you want and be in the career that makes you happy.
Stay strong, you got this!
- Jason